It Goes Without Saying, Wait No It Doesn’t [Round 8, Chapter 54, Ralston]

Akira let Gavin hold his hand for a bit, but Gavin still wasn’t speaking so he took a step back.

“Come on Gavin, I know you’re not the most verbose person, but tell me something.”

Still Gavin said nothing, but he handed Akira a rose.

Akira couldn’t help himself, the rose made him smile. He wanted Gavin to use his words, but he appreciated the methods Gavin was using to avoid words. 

He finally let himself feel a rush of hope. All this time being Gavin’s friend, his feelings had been growing stronger. At first he wasn’t sure Gavin was even capable of reciprocating the feelings, but then it became clear he was confused and deep in the closet, lying even to himself.

Akira had decided they would just be friends and that would be fine. He’d even tried to date other people to distract himself, but ended up finding reasons to end those relationships. No one else was Gavin. There was no one he could depend on more. Being “just friends” fled from his mind’s grip as the smell of the rose invaded his senses.

Akira opened his mouth to speak, accepting he was going to have to start the actual conversation. Gavin closed the distance between them and caressed his cheek. Akira closed his mouth and leaned into Gavin’s hand.

He decided to let this play out. It had been a while since he got to witness someone exploring something so new to them. Gavin was a bit like a kid in a cool candy or toy store, allowed for the first time to touch the items on the shelves without having to worry about breaking something.

Still in complete silence, Gavin stared at Akira for a moment. Then he finally leaned in so they could share their first kiss.

After the sweet tentative kiss, some other version of Gavin took over.

He kissed Akira’s neck, causing him to make a sound something like a giggle as if he were being tickled.

Then he kissed him deeply on the mouth, done with being tentative.

Gavin kissed his way back down to Akira’s neck, this time eliciting a moan instead of a giggle.

Gavin paused his exploration and took hold of Akira’s hand again.

Gavin finally found his voice.

“I never knew I could feel like this. Well, I guess I knew, but I didn’t think I should. I don’t know if that makes sense. It doesn’t matter what I thought, what matters is now. I feel like a new person. No, I feel like myself. I feel the most like myself I’ve ever felt. I can’t believe I waited this long to say something.”

Akira smiled gently, “Gavin, you know you haven’t actually said anything yet.”

Gavin smiled back, “right. Okay, as one of my closest friends, I need your help.”

“Anything you need,” said Akira.

“What’s the best way to say, ‘I want to be with you’?”

This time, it was Akira’s turn to forgo words. He walked around to the opposite side of the bed a gave Gavin a look full of meaning.

Without any more words needed, they both got into bed.

The next morning, they got dressed and sat on the bed to talk.

“Please tell me in your apartment the bedrooms have more in them than just beds.”

Akira laughed and said, “indeed they do have more than beds. There’s art on the walls too. And your grandfather would love my kitchen.”

“I’m sure now that we’ve sorted things out, my grandparents will say yes to the move,” said Gavin. “This makes me so happy, you don’t even know. I can’t wait to have you, and this, in my life everyday.”

Akira sighed. “Listen, Gavin, we had a great time last night, and I really care about you, but I have to rescind my offer of moving in.”

“Wait, what?”

“Think about it Gavin, we didn’t actually do much talking last night, and that’s as much my fault as yours. But that doesn’t change things. A few kisses and spending the night together can’t replace a real conversation.”

“Okay, well then let’s talk now.”

“You don’t want to talk to me about this, not really,” said Akira.

“I do,” insisted Gavin. “I can’t go backwards now, so let’s dive in. Why don’t you want us to move in with you anymore?”

“It was fine when we were pretending all we wanted from each other was friendship,” said Akira. “But things have changed. Now you want more, now you want to see what I can give you. And you’d be right to be eager to find out. But I can’t say the same.”

Gavin felt like he’d been slapped.

Gavin: What’s so wrong with me?

“What’s so wrong with me? Sure, I don’t have the experience you do, but I don’t think I’m that bad.”

“It’s not about experience,” said Akira. “Okay, well maybe it is a little about that. I’m not sure I want to be your guinea pig while you learn to be the new you. What if it didn’t work out? 

“I don’t think I could handle what that would mean for our friendship. I got used to being just friends and seeing that as the best way to keep you in my life, and I’m worried about trying to change that .

“But aside from that, you live a sheltered life. Your grandparents brought you here, they cook your meals, they tend to repairs, you don’t do anything for yourself.”

Gavin couldn’t believe his ears. “Your whole reasoning for us moving in was so you could have a family here, and now you’re holding it against me because I didn’t have to ‘do it on my own’ like you did? I’m not even an immigrant! I’m the children of immigrants, first generation born here. Wanna hold that against me too?!”

“No! You’re misunderstanding,” said Akira. “I don’t say that to criticize, it’s just that we’re different in that way, so you may not get some things.”

“I understood just fine 24 hours ago.”

“Twenty-four hours ago, you were just a friend.”

“And now what am I?”

“Now, you’re someone who I care about in all the ways I can finally admit to,” said Akira. “But you’re also the man who’s so afraid to be himself, he picked some bullshit cause to base his entire political career on, playing it safe every step of the way. I can’t be with someone who plays it so safe.”

“Simoleons for Everyone is a fine cause,” mumbled Gavin.

“Keep telling yourself that,” said Akira.

“Okay, fine,” said Gavin, “maybe I haven’t had to do everything by myself and maybe I have played it safe, but didn’t last night show you that I can evolve?” He leaned in closer to Akira, nudging him with his shoulder.

“Yes, last night showed me a lot,” said Akira, smiling in spite of himself. “But I need more.”

“Okay,” said Gavin, getting serious again in spite of Akira’s smile. “I’ll show you more.”

Akira smiled and said, “I can’t wait.

To Be Continued…

22 thoughts on “It Goes Without Saying, Wait No It Doesn’t [Round 8, Chapter 54, Ralston]

  1. Well, cna’t say it isn’t realistic! And I can almsot see a point in what Akira is saying…but, if it really was liek ”true love” he wouldn’t say some stuff he said there…and i can see the ”wait until you get your stuff done” thingy…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Shhh! The thought of having “true love” with someone who’s never been with another man before likely terrifies Akira. We don’t want to scare him off. If it’s true love, we’ll discuss it during round 9, haha.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This was an interesting development! On one hand, I appreciate that Akira wants them to figure their relationship out more before they jump into living together. On the other hand, it feels like he blindsided poor Gavin with this sudden 180. I wish Gavin would have spoken up more about his feelings so their communication could have been less one-sided.

    I’m rooting for them to work things out for them! They’re a sweet couple 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Akira definitely blindsided Gavin. If I were there, I would’ve called out Akira for making a punk move! But Gavin isn’t as confrontational as I am.

      Akira tried to bring Gavin closer into his life because he thought all they’d ever be was friends. Then when Gavin changed things on him unexpectedly, he felt like he had to back up and self-preserve.

      Akira felt justified because he wasn’t the only one who pulled a bait and switch in that bedroom. He just went about it, in my opinion, in a very brusque way.

      He’s lucky Gavin thinks there’s a lot of merit to what he said. I’m hoping Gavin learns to speak up so their communication, as friends or as more, stops being so one-sided.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh! Well, that was unexpected. Nice. I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, it’s nice to see a matured Akira who is much different from the horndog in my story lol. He made some good points. On the other hand, as you stated above, I feel like this is kind of a cop out. I mean, if he cares about him so much, why doesn’t he help him become a better person? At the same time, I totally get it lol. But it still seems like more of an excuse. Clearly the man needs help. Just set up some boundaries, establish what it is that he wants, and if he doesn’t see any changes, let him go. Not trying at all is lame.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re making great points, stuff I thought about when outlining this chapter. Hopefully there’s an Akira on someone’s hard drive who can be that person in a relationship, haha.

      The way I see him in this save, because he’s romantic and self-assured, he’s got these grand ideas of how relationships should go, and he “knows his worth.” So he won’t settle for less. To him, the stakes are raised even higher because he just crossed the line with a friend.

      Having said that, he’d rather blow it up before it even starts than risk losing his friend. I was thinking of a few close friends of mine who are the kind of people who are more prone to not even try rather than risk failure because to them failure is somehow worse. I don’t get it, but some folks (and Sims) come that way.

      Now I’m thinking there’s room here for Gavin to help Akira grow too. Maybe encourage him to take his own advice about looking outside of what seems like the easier choice.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ooooh yes! Gavin can certainly teach Akira some things. There are two sides to every street. He kinda reminds me of Julian in the way that he would go through such great lengths to maintain this sacred friendship despite how he feels.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Lol, my first thought was Pruett, but then I was like maybe she mispelled Juliana…

        Anyway, I just re-read Chapter 8.74 to refresh my memory, and all I have to quote is, “Although Julian desperately wanted a girlfriend, there was something about Jeannette that he couldn’t get enough of, and he always ended up spending time with her instead.”

        It was like smelling a cologne associated with a memory after 10 years had passed. It all came back to me! All the pluheadedness, all the best friend baloney, haha.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Wow! Just wow! At first I was like , yeah, this is so sweet , but I wonder how realistic ? Then I was like , yup . It’s realistic ! I’ve had gay and lesbian friends who’ve shared stories with me about this same conversation ! ( I think I’ve heard about it from both sides.) It’s amazing how owning one’s identity demands authenticity in all aspects of life . This is gonna be good !

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for this comment. I must admit I was a bit worried if this story line would read well. But I just followed what I’ve heard from friends and associates who’ve been through something similar.

      Hopefully you like where this goes. If I had aging off for my Sims, it would be even more realistic. But, you know, even on a long life span, Sims gotta work out their stuff quicker than one night like, lol.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol, I hope the woohoo wasn’t bad.

      Akira really cares about Gavin, he’s just worried that it wouldn’t end well. Gavin didn’t speak up and there’s no room for miscommunication in Akira’s book. Too​ many pitfalls already inherent in this being possibly Gavin’s first same sex relationship.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m more concerned about the fact they were in the bedroom getting it on while Gavin’s grandparents were setting out there probably cheering their grandson on.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Lol, that’s funny. Yes, the grandparents were probably relieved more than anything else, thinking, “finally! It’s about time!”

        And with Kenya and Cristian, you never know, they’d probably moved to their bedroom themselves by the time Akira accepted Gavin really wasn’t going to use his words. 😉

        Liked by 2 people

  5. Wow. Didn’t expect that. Is Akira nom-committal? Poor Gavin. He finally reached out and got slapped down. I don’t want to be your guinea pig. WTH? He did seem a little more willing at the end. I hope Gavin doesn’t wind up being the one hurt.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nope, not non-committal. He’s romantic, jealous, and self-assured. I’m glad something unexpected happened, yay for surprises…?

      Gavin always avoids words, but Akira isn’t so quiet when it’s his turn to talk. For Akira’s sake, I hope he doesn’t hurt Gavin, sounds like you’ll get retribution for him!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Also, being Gavin’s first same sex relationship isn’t appealing to him, no matter how he feels about Gavin. He knows there’s so many ways it could go wrong, he’d almost prefer to just stay friends rather than risk them crashing and burning.

      I kind of think Akira is just using Gavin’s tentativeness in life as an excuse.

      Liked by 1 person

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